In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate and like yourself.
It is easy to lose your sense of self when life becomes overwhelming though. There is so much pressure on us today. Everyone has their best show reel on display for the world to see and the demands to try and keep up can be exhausting. Even the most positive, confident people have days where they feel low and lacking in self-esteem. The good news is, every day we actually have a choice. We can choose to take action and introduce self-esteem building habits that will drastically improve our energy levels, the way we feel about ourselves and how we see the world around us.
When you value yourself and have a good level of self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile. You feel confident about achieving your goals, hopes and dreams and really, anything is possible because your energy levels – mentally, physically and spiritually are well supported.
Self-esteem affects virtually every facet of your life so it is important to check your levels often. Maintaining a healthy and positive view of yourself on a really deep level isn’t vain or arrogant. It is just as important as eating healthy, exercising or any other activity that supports your health and wellbeing.
Maybe you have had low self – esteem since you were a child, maybe life has thrown you some hard knocks and this has contributed to your self -esteem levels and how you feel about yourself, but always remember, we can grow and develop new and more positive ways of seeing ourselves at any age.
I hope the following tips inspire you to see yourself …maybe for the first time in your life, with a kind and loving heart.
Identify your competencies and good qualities and own them!
If we want to build self- esteem levels we only need to look at our past achievements, what is important to us, what we are good at and really honour those things. When we take the time to honour the achievements that matter to us, and when we really appreciate what we are good at, we can increase our self- esteem significantly. Take the time to acknowledge all of the good things about you. If you find yourself listing more weaknesses than strengths, this is a strong sign that you need to work on building up your self-esteem levels.
What are you good at?
Are you a great cook?
Are you the person that keeps everything functioning at work, home etc?
Are you a great artist, writer, creator?
Are you a great listener?
Are you caring and nurturing?
Identify what you have achieved to date and all of your positive qualities as a matter of urgency!
Build positive relationships
How many of us surround ourselves with the wrong kind of people?
It is easy to have relationships with toxic people when our self-esteem is low. Like a moth to a flame, we tend to attract them. If the people in your world bring you down or criticise you, then it is important to start spending less time with them or even better, distancing from them altogether. Seek out relationships with people who appreciate you and respect you.
Surround yourself with positive, uplifting and authentic people.
2019 is a great time to check who is in your circle of influence.
Express yourself
If we express our needs, wants, values and boundaries clearly and confidently to our family and friends, this will keep self-esteem levels well and truly overflowing. It is healthy to speak your truth and manage your energy. Both mental and physical energy requires attention and your energy can easily be depleted especially by others if you do not prioritize what feels right for you.
Stop worrying about what others think
We all want to be liked and appreciated and recognised for our talents, but when we constantly rely on what other people may or may not think about us, this is a problem. When we spend time worrying about what others think of us, we are never free to be completely and fully ourselves.
Nobody else is living your life or knows truly how you feel or even what might be best for you. Don’t give away your power.
Questions to ask yourself when working on self-esteem
What can I start doing right now to help strengthen my emotional balance?
What can I stop doing?
What is one small change I can make this week that will help me feel in control of my life and my emotions?
What changes can I make to develop a stronger relationship with myself?
What perceived flaws do I need to address and overcome so that I can accept myself fully?
Who are the people in my life that are supportive and love me for who I am right now?
What habits do I need to introduce that will suport my happiness and confidence this year?
What is one new positive action that I can start to work on today that will build my self-esteem?
To make changes, firstly you need to accept responsibility for your
self-esteem.
That includes accepting responsibility for getting the help you need if you feel you need help in this area.
Understand that your self-esteem depends on you. You need to do the work.
Jo Ettles