It is fairly normal human behaviour to try and control certain things that happen to us or around us, but the harsh reality is –YOU actually have very little control over a lot of the things that happen in life.
It is easy to ignore the aspects of our lives that are easily controlled.
For example…diet, relationships, lifestyle, daily habits, mindset, behaviour, generally all of the choices we make on a daily basis.
It also very easy to get overwhelmed and consumed by all the things that we have virtuallyno control over. For example – what other people think, how other people behave, what other people say, our past and even change itself.
When we invest more energy into the parts of our lives that we can control, instead of investing energy into the parts that we cannot…..we can quite literally change the quality of our lives for the better.
When you can’t control what is happening to you, instead challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what is actually happening to you. Seriously, it is in this process that you can begin to take back your power.
Over thinking
Before you can begin to alleviate the process of over thinking, you need to learn to recognise when you are actually doing it. Any time you find yourself over thinking a situation, especially one that you have zero control over, take a moment to listen to your thoughts.
Pay attention to how much stress and energy you are wasting in this state of over thinking.
It is right in this moment of critical awareness that you can actually control something.
When you are aware that you are re-playing negative events in your mind, or worrying about all of the things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive and focus your attention on something that is more positive. If it is hard to switch those thoughts off, busy yourself with an activity that will shift your attention. Even having a conversation on a completely different subject with someone can distract your mind from the barrage of negative thoughts.
Maintain self-awareness
One of the things we can control in our lives is how we react and respond to what is happening to us. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, an illness, divorce, unemployment, we can still choose how we react to the challenges in our lives. It is during these difficult times that our emotions can get the better of us. Our emotions can go crazy when we are going through challenges and in order to heal, we have to feel (and that can be painful).
It is important to keep checking in with yourself during a challenge. How do you feel? Do you need to be alone to gather your thoughts and center yourself? How can you release some of the negativity associated with what is happening?
Some people meditate, others will hike a mountain, others can talk through the challenges with trusted friends, there is no right or wrong. Practice self-evaluation and reflection as a way to manage your emotions. Over time, self-awareness improves our self-control allowing us to manage how we react and respond to what is happening in our lives.
Stress is directly related to how out of control we feel
Having a tool kit with techniques that help to reduce stress can keep you from getting stuck in your stress response. My anti-stress tool kit consists of meditation, breathing exercises and I am a huge fan of EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique).
What is in your anti-stress tool box? If you don’t have one, it is important to acknowledge that an anti- stress tool kit is as vital as a first aid kit.
Change itself
Change itself is inevitable. Much of the stress and anxiety associated with change
comes from the fact that, when we are thrown into circumstances beyond our control,
the changes associated with this have the potential to completely alter the course of our future.
Rather than resisting change, instead accept change, learn from it, seek out new opportunities and experiences and embrace it as an opportunity to improve every area of your life.
By embracing change in a positive way, it is no longer our enemy. It becomes our teacher.
What you can control
This is what I know for sure….
I can control –
My choices – in regards to my health and wellness (mentally, physically and spiritually)
My self-talk
My thoughts
How many times I smile today
How grateful I am
How compassionate and kind I am
How much love I share with the world
My beliefs
My attitude
What I invest my energy into
Shall I keep going????……..
Wishing you wellness in Mind, Body & Spirit
Jo Ettles