I have really noticed of late how judgemental many can be in regards to other people’s life choices and actions. Often this is done without knowing the individuals complete circumstances. Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people or situations. We are all very capable of judging and criticising and I’m no exception,
but I work hard to see a person in their totality.
I always try and respect a person’s decisions and acknowledge that they are creating their own personal experiences and the choices they make create their personal growth process.
With that in mind, who am I to judge them?
If we can stop and acknowledge why we are being judgemental, it is usually in this process that we can learn to recognise the unhealed parts of ourselves. When you let go of the judgement and come from a place of acceptance, love and empathy, we can build stronger relationships that foster understanding and compassion.
Right now the world is in desperate need of people who share love,compassion, and who are less critical and judgemental of themselves and each other.
Acknowledge
To stop judgement, it is important to bring awareness to the fact that you’re actually judging someone. Pay attention to how you are feeling, your thoughts and what you are saying.
Do you feel annoyed or irritated?
Are you complaining or gossiping about someone?
Are you giving someone your opinion without looking at the whole picture?
Acknowledge the following-
Why are you judging this person right now?
What unnecessary or idealistic expectations do you have of this person?
Can you put yourself in this person’s shoes?
What might this person be going through and how can you better understand their story?
What’s something you can appreciate about this person right now?
Acknowledge when you are judging someone and then ask yourself questions that will help you to be empathetic, compassionate and kind towards the person. You never know when you might find yourself walking in the very shoes of the person you have judged
Next time you find yourself judging someone
make sure that you know all the facts about the situation at hand.
It is highly likely that you do not know the whole story. You may just be getting a tiny glimpse of what is happening. Instead of judging, forming or giving an opinion, offer unconditional support.
If you can’t do that, then respectfully walk away without judgement.
Reframe
Look at the situation from a different angle before you make a judgement. Be open minded and accepting of another persons right to handle something differently to the way you would handle it.
The Dalai Lama says: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”
Practice self-compassion
As soon as you find that you are judging someone, practice self-compassion. Judging someone else inevitably arises from a lack of self- worth. The quickest way to start increasing your self- worth is to be more compassionate to yourself. Rise above being judgemental by practicing self-compassion.
Judging someone defines you as a person
The act of judging another person really does reflect more on the person judging than on the person being judged. We often project our own values and beliefs on others and if others fall in line with what we value and believe, we judge them as “good” and the rest “bad”. It’s a fail safe mechanism to convince ourselves that the way we are living is right and that others who don’t live up to our ways and beliefs are wrong. Use your judgement of others as a cue to check in with yourself, your thoughts and your integrity.
Are you really living in accordance to your values and beliefs?
It is essential that we practice tolerance in today’s world.
Cultivate more tolerance on a daily basis and it will help you to understand people better,
form stronger relationships, judge less and accept more.
Wishing you wellness in mind, body and spirit.
Jo Ettles